I have lately obtained an addiction to the most perfect fruit in existence. She (Yes, fruit has a gender) enlightens my life every day, the mere presence of her brilliant curves-so perfectly carved into a trunk which, while strong, is soft and supple to the touch, makes me immediately harden in various ways. Looking at this beautiful fruit is wonderful, but things really begin to get interesting while EATING this fruit. One must begin at the velvet lips. The taste is amazing, blinding, and cathartic. The fluids will cleanse you of all disease and pain, and will then take your mind on a trip to another land-a land of pwn. After experiencing this, one must bite-and bite hard. The fruit will then squirm and writhe in your mouth, and will then prompltly tell you to impale it. It is sometimes hard to give up the wonderful taste of the rose, but better things are to come. One must promplty jump up in the air at this point, wield their staff, and impale the wonderful fruit-right within the rose. Anywhere else and the fruit will wield no pleasure, only pain. After many thrusts and lunges at this fruit, the fruit will moan and shriek, until finally you release your wonderful fluids to marinate and spread throughout the membranes. This is truly a wonderful fruit.